Shelob is a Sexy Lady Because Some Game Developers Just Like to Watch the World Burn

 

It’s 2017. Donald Trump is president. The Emoji Movie is a thing that exists. And Shelob, the giant spider from Lord of the Rings, is a sexy lady because some game developers just like to watch the world burn. From Middle-Earth: Shadow of War:

I mean, okay, it doesn’t actually look that bad. I guess I could look on the bright side here and say that Monolith is just trying to add some female representation? Shelob looks like a fairly cliché femme fatale villain, but cliché storylines were pretty standard in Shadow of Mordor (see: Talion, the grizzled anti-hero dude with the fridged family) and that was still an enjoyable enough game.

But that’s the rational part of my brain talking. A nagging, irrational part of my brain believes that this is how the world ends. This is it. The apocalypse is nigh. Monolith must take responsibility for the terror that they have unleashed upon humanity. Continue reading “Shelob is a Sexy Lady Because Some Game Developers Just Like to Watch the World Burn”

The Emoji Movie Takes Place In A Terrifying Dystopian Hellscape

I’ve heard it said that hell is other emojis.

Imagine that you live in a world where everyone must show only one emotion at all times. All your friends and family must be eternally happy, eternally sad, or eternally angry. If they feel other emotions, they must be careful to never show it on their faces. To do otherwise risks the destruction of their very world.

This is the dystopia of The Emoji Movie.

Continue reading “The Emoji Movie Takes Place In A Terrifying Dystopian Hellscape”